Don’t Tell Your Story Chronologically
So…what’s YOUR story? No matter where you are or what you do, this is a question that you must answer. But so many people answer it incorrectly. Well, HOW could MY own story be wrong, you might ask? Not wrong, per se, but certainly not optimal to be received by the brain of the person who asked the question.
And the receiving of info back is a VERY key part of the communications model you learned about in the 8th grade with a sender, receiver, message and feedback loop back to the sender. As the sender, you want to design your ANSWER to be received well so the feedback that comes back to you is ALL SYSTEMS GO! So let’s look at how most people answer the question.
Q: So, what’s your story? Or Tell me about yourself?
A: Well, I was born a poor kid in Mississippi and then I went to elementary school, high school, college and had this job and that job and then I met my spouse, we had kids and pets….
It’s a timeline. And OUR brains organize that info by memories and in a straight line to the present. Nothing wrong with that.
But, the receiver’s brain will give you about 8 seconds of attention and if you do not involve that receiver’s brain in a story that is somewhat about THEM and THEIR needs, that brain will check out while you blather on through the timeline of your life. “No message received” is that feedback loop. “No relevancy detected.”
Relevancy is what you want. In fact, the actual question they asked you SOUNDED like “So tell me your story” but the REAL question was “How are YOU relevant to ME and my brain which is looking to stop paying attention at any moment?” (The human brain has two jobs — survive/thrive and CONSERVE calories)
So…here’s how you answer the question and it’s NOT about you (very much). This is how I would answer it.
Q: So, what’s your story? Or Tell me about yourself?
A: Well, have you ever had to explain what your business does and watched someone’s eyes just glaze over? That moment right there, when your message doesn’t land, is costing you customers, press coverage, and money every single day. I’ve spent 25 years helping high-growth companies — from startups to brands like HP and Disney — find the one thing they do better than anyone else and then say it so clearly it becomes impossible to ignore. I call it attraction-based marketing. I wrote the book on it — literally — it’s called LAIZY A$$ Marketing, and yes, that’s exactly what it sounds like. Most recently I helped a tech startup go 5X over their Kickstarter target just by reworking how they talked about their product. Before we touched a single marketing channel, we fixed the message. Because here’s the truth — you can have the best product in the room. But if you can’t tell me why I should care in 10 seconds, someone with an inferior product and a better story is going to eat your lunch. So — what’s the one thing about your business you wish more people understood?” (About 60 seconds for my answer)
And…I vary the problem and the details depending on who I’m talking to and what problem THEY might be having. Your message MUST be about THEM. I do this because I know I have 8 seconds and the clock is TICKING. You do, too. And every time you tell a lengthy biographical story about yourself that starts at the very beginning of your life, you should know that your audience probably left the theater (mentally) a long time ago.
A good formula for this answer goes like this:
You know how….(insert problem you solve for people just like them)
This is how I’m the medicine for that (explain)
This is how people feel or results I can generate (explain)
Question back to them to engage them — good to open up a larger conversation with a question to them so they have to think.
Try it this way. Make sure your NATURAL tendency to tell your story in timeline order gets interrupted by your new knowledge that the audience won’t listen for more than 8 seconds if it’s not about THEM. And practice your answer—and get really good at doing this. If you do it this way, your message might actually make it to the receiver and you might get that feedback that they actually understood your RELEVANCY to them and their brain.
(Always written 100 percent by me, never AI — because I am a real writer and do not require AI’s “help”)